As a new year begins, goals naturally return to centre stage.
This isn’t because humans are endlessly driven or obsessed with achievement. It’s because goals give us something deeply human a sense of direction. They help us organise effort, make meaning of time, and imagine a future that feels purposeful. At their best, goals act like an inner compass, quietly guiding choices and behaviour when life feels complex or uncertain.
But for many people, goals also feel daunting.
They can trigger pressure, self doubt, or a sense that we are already behind before we’ve even begun. The same goals that promise growth can start to feel heavy or restrictive. This tension often has less to do with the goal itself and more to do with what that goal is connected to.
Why goals can feel overwhelming
Goals become difficult when they are disconnected from meaning.
When they are shaped by expectation rather than intention.
When they reflect who we think we should be, rather than who we are becoming.
When they are set in isolation, without consideration of our current life stage, energy, or values.
In coaching conversations, it’s common to find that what looks like a motivation problem is actually a clarity problem. When we slow down and connect a goal to other aspects of life such as identity, values, relationships, or season of life new insights often emerge. What we thought we wanted to achieve can shift once we understand why it mattered in the first place.
Personal goals and leadership goals are deeply connected
This matters significantly in leadership.
Our leadership goals do not sit neatly separate from our personal goals. They are shaped by who we are, how resourced we feel, and what matters to us beyond our role or title. When personal and leadership goals are aligned, leaders tend to show up with greater authenticity, emotional availability, and consistency.
Teams feel this alignment.
Leaders who are clear about their own direction and priorities are better placed to foster trust, build meaningful relationships, and create psychologically safe environments. When there is misalignment, the strain often shows up subtly in decision fatigue, disengagement, or a sense of going through the motions.
What goal setting theory helps us understand
Research offers useful insight into why alignment and motivation matter.
Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, through Self Determination Theory, suggest that sustained motivation depends on three core psychological needs autonomy, competence, and relatedness.
In practice, this means we are more likely to commit to goals when:
- we feel we have chosen them
- we believe we can make progress
- they connect us to something meaningful or relational
Similarly, the work of Edwin Locke and Gary Latham highlights that clarity and commitment are essential for goal achievement. But commitment is not created through pressure alone. It grows when a goal feels personally significant.
When motivation is lacking, this is not a sign of failure. It is information.
When motivation drops, reassessment matters
A drop in motivation often signals the need for reflection rather than force.
What is this goal really in service of?
Is it still relevant for the season of life I am in now?
What part of my identity is this goal speaking to or no longer speaking to?
What might need to shift in how I relate to this goal, not just the goal itself?
Reassessment is not quitting. It is a form of psychological maturity.
Midlife goals and the identity transition beneath them
This reassessment becomes especially important in midlife.
Midlife is often less about setting bigger goals and more about setting truer ones. It is a phase where many people begin questioning who they are becoming, not just what they are achieving. Roles shift. Energy changes. Success is redefined. Goals that once made sense may no longer fit.
This is where coaching can be particularly valuable.
In my coaching work with leaders in this phase, the focus often moves beyond traditional goal setting into identity exploration. We look at how personal goals shape leadership, how past definitions of success may need updating, and how to align ambition with meaning in a sustainable way.
From this place, goals become less about proving and more about coherence. Less about urgency and more about intention.
A different starting point for 2026
As this year begins, the most useful question may not be What should I achieve? but Who am I becoming, and what would support that?
When goals are connected to identity, values, and relationships, they tend to generate energy rather than drain it. And when personal and leadership goals are aligned, the ripple effect extends to teams, cultures, and the quality of connection we create at work.
Sometimes the most powerful goals are not the loudest ones, but the ones that quietly bring us into closer alignment with ourselves.
If this is a conversation you are ready to explore, my coaching offers the space to do so with depth, clarity, and intention.
~ Vantage Proof Consulting, Jan 2026.
